Hello everyone!

Hope you've all been well. I'm writing to you after the longest time. I'm slowly starting to come out from my self-imposed time-out. 

What better way to get back to writing and blogging than by reflecting on my 24 years of life. 

I will be 24 in another week. Can you believe it?

To commemorate the occasion (well before it happens), I thought I will share with all of you 24 things I've learned in my 24 years of life, in the form of a note to myself.

1. Mom and Dad are alarmingly right about many, many things. Always hear out their perspective on things.

2.  It's okay to stand up for yourself even if it is difficult at times because you're not used to doing it often.

3. Try your best to make at least one person smile through a kind gesture. 

4. Take time for yourself off social media. While SM is amazing, it can also cloud your judgment about your life because you're constantly drawing comparisons with others.

5. Speaking of...try not to compare your life with that of anyone else. Instead focus on what you do and what you want out of life.

6. You don't have to live your life according to anyone else, even if they have good intentions.

7. Do things at your own pace. Even if it means you're 'getting there' slower than the rest.

8. There will be days where you "just can't", but those days will pass. 

9. Accept your emotions.

 10. Anxiety is controllable.

11. Know when to push yourself out of your comfort zone, because the rewards are so worth it!

12. Always be open for new adventures.

13. Accept that you can't make time for everything and everyone. This doesn't mean you have to let go of people or opportunities, but rather it concerns with prioritising. 

14. Don't beat yourself up for saying 'no'. 

15. Learn how to manage your time, so you can make time for most if not everything and everyone. 

16. Recognise the people who are ready to support you and accept that support.

17. Surround yourself with people who are inspiring.

18. Know your worth and know the difference between what you do and don't deserve.

19. Be honest to yourself and know your limits. You don't have to pretend like you're not affected by what happens around you.

20. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, because you cannot be both perfect and human.

21. Re-evaluate how you talk to yourself. Remember how you learned this in psych class?

22. Self-care is a priority, don't let yourself forget that. So take time for yourself, bake, listen to your oldies records, colour in on that book you got from TBBW. Whatever it takes to make yourself content and at peace.

23. Know that it's the little things that count.

24. Believe in the power of a good cup of tea.

Let me know what you think, and if there are any lessons you've learnt from your life that you would like to share with me, please feel free to leave a comment down below.

Thank you so much for reading,

Much Love,

I was reading through a few posts on gratitude, and came across some comments in which I began to notice a certain ideology behind why gratitude hasn't worked out for some people. Admittedly not all things work exceptionally well for every single person. However one of the underlying ideas seemed to be that merely writing down lists of things someone is grateful for ought to bring happiness, success, money and love, etc. This is perpetrated when there is no explanation as to how gratitude works, so I thought I will share with you how it worked for me. 

No, it was not by mindlessly writing down lists of things I was grateful for. Every morning I took time to think and reflect, upon doing so I was able to list down specifically what I was grateful for. As I mentioned in my previous post, I found that pin-pointing what I was grateful for, such as support from my family, helped me more than writing something in general like, 'I'm grateful for my family'. 

While it almost seems miraculous, the way gratitude works; I assure you it is not a miracle. What it promotes is a shift in the mindset. Being grateful allows you to think about what you have, instead of what you haven't got. 

Imagine someone who experiences a minor blip like in his/ her relationship. It's very easy in this case for that person to look at themselves negatively, engage in self-blaming, and be preoccupied with the classic,  'Where have I gone wrong?', or 'What is wrong with me?' thoughts. 

This person would then nit-pick everything that's wrong with the relationship, everything that's wrong with the other person in the relationship, and with emotions running high, they will engage in distancing or reacting negatively towards the other person. They would soon realise that the world is against them leading to the 'Why me?', 'Why is the world keeping us apart?' thought process. Notice the domino effect that takes place.

Imagine instead, someone appreciating the fact that they have someone to share their life with or someone who is grateful for having a continuous source of support and strength.

In being grateful, we open our eyes and widen our perspective. We look for solutions or work around the problem. Whereas in the earlier situation, a person will continually consume time to think about everything that is going wrong, in this situation a person who is grateful will immediately pick up the phone to call or drop a message to their S/O or schedule a time to talk through what's going right and what's going wrong. The other person too will begin to notice how much more effort you are putting into the relationship, and will value the commitment. 

Do you think this person will now experience more love in their life, more success in their relationship, and feel more happy about the place they are in at the moment?

It's not all that magical or miraculous now is it?

Gratitude is a shift in perspective which logically explains why people who engage in the practice of gratitude experience love, success and happiness in a wholesome manner.

So there you go, the thought that merely listing things you're grateful for will enable you to lead a more fulfilling life is a common misconception.

Gratitude is a thought, a feeling, and an action. So make sure you experience it wholly.

Let me know what your thoughts are on practicing gratitude.

Thank you so much for reading,
Much Love,

I am currently trying out a new morning routine. As I have mentioned before on my blog, I am not the biggest fan of routine. I find that once the tasks get repetitive, life can seem pretty mundane. However there is no doubt about how routine increases efficiency, that is, it lessens decision fatigue, and enables us to make the most of our time. So I've been trying to build up a morning routine with activities I was already engaging in, and ones that were necessary additions to improve overall health. 

I have devised a checklist to keep up with these activities, and if you're anyone like me you can download this and keep your morning activities in check. 

I like to switch up the order in which I engage in these activities, because as I said, routine becomes dull for me after a while. This way, I can still complete all of these tasks but trick my mind into thinking it is not routine. 

First things first. I make my bed in the morning, or on most mornings. It's one of those activities that I used to slack on, but I am getting better at it. I do this for two reasons, a) it serves as the first tick in the list of activities that already makes me feel like I've done something productive, and b) there's nothing like coming home to a bed already made. 

Next, I do my morning stretches or I exercise. I have recently noticed a whole lot of body aches and pains- AAH I'm getting old! Just to ensure that someone doesn't mistake me for a 90-year old, I've decided that it's high time I do some exercise in the morning. I usually follow the warm-up, dance workouts, and cool-down tutorials by Danielle Peazer (I'll link her YouTube channel below). It's already helping me so much, and I find that it boosts my energy for the day.

Next I have a shower because I stink after the workout, obviously. I have previously posted my shower essentials, and these are still some of the products I use in the shower. Let me know in a comment down below if you'd like to see an updated version. 

Next, I have my breakfast and tea. Sometimes I would have tea after I make the bed, because I've been woken up with a cup mug of tea every morning since childhood. It's just one of those Sri Lankan things. 

I read the daily news while I have tea. I also use this time to catch up on my favourite bloggers on bloglovin' and vloggers (usually the vlogs by Zoella, Alfie/pointlessblog or Jess and Gabriel Conte), or listen to a podcast. I will do a post about some new podcasts I've been loving soon. 

After I do this I catch up on Pacifica, in terms of the duration of sleep, and mindfulness exercises like deep breathing or a 5-minute meditation.

Next, I engage in a simple gratitude exercise, and write down three affirmations because I love a confidence-boost early in the morning. I've already written a post about Gratitude Journaling, so you can check it out for more details. While I do not use Pacifica for this gratitude exercise, just note that if you get the premium version of Pacifica ($4.49 billed monthly for an year), you can complete gratitude exercises on the app itself. 

Next I set the intention for the day, which is essentially one of the bigger goals I want to achieve on a given day. I then go through my beloved agenda to check other tasks, and I start my day tackling them based on the level of priority. If I am supposed to head out for the day, I usually use an app to remind me of those tasks. Currently I am using Todoist for this.

That pretty much sums up my mornings these days.

Links:

Instagram

Danielle Peazer YouTube Channel

Do you have a morning routine? Let me know what you think about developing morning routines in a comment down below.

Thank you so much for reading,

Much Love,

You might have a friend or a family member experiencing anxiety, and often wondered what to say to them when they're experiencing heightened emotions, or panic attacks. Perhaps you might feel like you have said something wrong, and want to correct yourself for next time, but do not know how. Maybe it's to you that these things have been said. It's important to know that they are not coming from a bad place, but out of a misunderstanding about the nature of anxiety.

So here are three things to never say to someone with anxiety. I've listed what you could do or say instead, so that you can help better. 

Disclaimer:

Albeit the topic being serious, I added a few funny images/ statements just to ensure a smile, especially if you're having a hard time reading posts that hits the heart like this one.

Just Chill

Believe me, we wish we could 'just chill'. To give you a picture, it's like saying 'just chill' to someone standing next to a venomous cobra waiting to attack. It's impossible to relax given something that is deeply terrifying to someone. Sometimes it could be a visible source of threat like a cobra, and at other times it could be something not so apparent, like a fear of having a panic attack. The source of fear in someone's mind could be based on a bad experience in the past, such as a dreadful flight. Once on the plane, they might find it difficult to stay calm, and merely telling them to 'chill' would not help.

Instead you can facilitate them to stay calm by breathing. Individuals experiencing anxiety will likely take short quick breaths which only fasten the heartbeat, and increase blood pressure. These signs mimic a heart attack, which makes them only feel worse. So taking deep breaths with them, and gently guiding them to stay grounded will help them so much more than telling them to 'chill'.

Don't Think About It

Try not to think about a giant purple dinosaur who sings and dances.

Go on...

 There's no way you could not.

 The same goes for the source of anxiety. Telling them to try not think about it, only makes them think about it more. For the person experiencing anxiety, the image of the source of anxiety would be vivid. It's like someone who fears blood and injections imagining an inexperienced nurse (or Mr. Bean dressed as a nurse) having to draw blood from them, inserting the syringe several times in a smelly hospital room. Sure, some of these fears or situations might seem like the most unrealistic of scenarios to you, but remember that you can't stop their thought process by saying 'don't think about it'. Managing thoughts is something they have to do themselves.

Instead you can help them by giving them a distraction. It doesn't work all the time, but sometimes it does help. A great way to distract someone, is to enable them to picture their happy and safe place or by helping them with guided imagery. This is a technique used by psychologists to couple breathing with imagining being on a calming beach, or a morning trail in the forest. You will be able to find several imagery exercises online to help you with this.

It's All in Your Head

There is a certain truth to it, as it is our thoughts and emotions that are exacerbating the anxiety. However you ought to know that the experience of anxiety is very real. Just like you can't calibrate the amount of pain experienced by someone else, there's no way to determine how real the feelings or source of anxiety is. So doing something you can easily do like use an escalator, could make someone else feel incredibly anxious. In which case you can't tell them that it's all in their head and to "just use the freaking escalator".

Image from Google

Instead of wording it as 'it's all in your head', gently let them know that they are in control, and they can manage their anxiety. You will be most helpful if you could gradually encourage them to go out of their comfort zone, and tackle their anxiety. 

In reference to the previous example, you could help by explaining to them how the escalator works, that is when to get on and when to get off. Then proceed to take them up and down the escalator a few times whilst holding their hand or making sure that they feel safe. Next, you can gently allow them to use the escalator by themselves whilst you watch. This process gently facilitates managing those fears and sources of anxiety. 

One ridikulus way I deal with certain sources of anxiety, (partly because I love Harry Potter) is by imagining being in the Boggarts class and shifting a visible source of anxiety into something funny, like a tarantula on roller-skates, or a disco cockroach. It reminds me that there is a certain truth in what Lupin said to a wise Harry, "... what you fear most of all is — fear".

Hope this post helps you help someone else. Or if it's you experiencing these emotions, I hope this post helped you let someone else know, how to help you when needed most.

Let me know what has helped you manage anxiety in a comment down below.

Thank you so much for reading,

Much Love,

So you've had a bad day...

First of all, I'm sorry you did. 

Life can be a little rough sometimes, and this is to remind you that it's okay or it will be okay. 

Bad days are rather a common experience. We all have them at some point, and you yourself might have experienced a couple in your life, and have gotten back up. But do you ever reflect on how you bounced back into life, or even how long you took? Upon looking back I've found three things that have helped me bounce back to my sunny self after having a bad day. I thought I will share them with you hoping they'll help you out as well.

Surround Yourself with Loved Ones

There's nothing better than venting to your mom about the day you've had over a good cup of tea. When you've had bad days you'll find yourself to be more inclined to cast yourself aside, and stay alone. What you don't realise is that this makes you feel more alone in your struggles and make you feel unworthy. So make sure you surround yourself with family or friends who are great listeners, and who can help you process your emotions. It's cathartic to talk about your experiences, and realise that you're not alone. For one thing, having these deep conversations will strengthen the relationships that you have. For another, they will remind you that you are loved and worthy no matter what, which is something you need to hear after a bad day. 

Don't Put Yourself Down

I am aware that this is the hardest possible thing to do. It's so easy to mutter 'FML' or put yourself down for something you did or did not do. It's that much tougher to admit that you did everything you could do, and that you're good enough. In hindsight you might wonder why you ever took a certain decision, or said something wrong at the time. It's necessary to remind yourself that you did what you could do at the time with the resources that you had. So all the what if 's and should have, could have, would have 's are not helpful now. Take time to process the events of the day, and analyse what went wrong, and figure ways in which you would not repeat the same events that brought about negativity to your life. 

Repeat if you must that,
you are human and therefore fallible; because you're human, you are valued, you are good enough, and you matter!

Gratitude

Recently I have started a happiness jar. There's more to follow on this, but for the moment let's just say I am really enjoying going through my day and recounting the things that made me smile and feel happy within. In doing so, I've felt immense gratitude for what I have in life. I've noticed a shift in my perspective from what is lacking or absent to what is present or is abundant in life. This is exactly what I need after a bad day; something to remind me that life is still pretty darn good. Even if you don't commit to this activity itself, it will be helpful to journal or write down things and people you are grateful for. You will notice a change, I assure you!

Hope you enjoyed reading this post. If you've been having a bad day, I hope this post offered you a little clarity, or prompted you to pick up the phone and call your mom or dad, or a friend to heal your heart. 

Don't forget that you'll get through this. You always do!

Take Care and Much Love,

Let me know what your favourite daily self-care activities are in a comment down below.

Thank you for reading!

Much love,

This is a rather personal topic to talk about and there was so much back and forth whether to publish this but I figured I will write about it nevertheless.

I've been blogging for the past three years now and I've loved everything about it. It started out as a creative venture, and it still is one of my biggest passions. From writing posts, to taking photographs to testing out new products, every single aspect of it is enjoyable. If there was one aspect that was and still is challenging for me, it is being present at social events. 

I love meeting people one-on-one and having deep conversations. However when there are large numbers such as crowds coming for events, I almost always tend to avoid those events. This is a typical response to feelings of anxiety. 

I still can replay so clearly in my head, the first event I attended which happened to be the opening of The Body Shop store in Colpetty. Would you believe it if I said I almost didn't go? I distinctly remember wanting a friend with me there, but it was an invite-only event for obvious reasons. I remember telling my friend that I might not go because it was too overwhelming, and her reminding me what a fantastic opportunity that was. As the car drew closer to the building I remember the moment of hesitation before stepping out. I reminded myself to take deep breaths, that everything was going to be okay. Yes, I actually needed reminders. I think I started sweating the moment I stepped foot into the store, partly because it was packed with reporters which I mentioned on my blog before. However the part I left out of that post, were the feeling of anxiety and how challenging it was for me to be there.

I was so glad when Nethmi from Style Folder, and Sachini (@sach_nathali) on Instagram) spoke with me and the conversations put me at ease with the surroundings. Come to think of it, had I not gone to this event I would not have met these amazing people. This event was also a turning-point for me, as this was a moment when I realised I could manage those feelings of being overwhelmed and anxious. It was rewarding to push myself, which is the morale of the story if you will. For these reasons I am so grateful.

The reason why I am even delving into a personal topic is because I want you to know that if you do have feelings of anxiety and nervousness, you can manage them. It requires effort and constant rephrasing of internal conversations that say 'you can't' or 'it's all too much'. 

You can get through this!

 From experience I could say that it's not a smooth ride up and there may be bumps on the road, but you would never know what you're capable of until you try.

So here's to us pushing ourselves to be our best.

If you have gone through similar experiences, and you have any tips you would like to share on managing anxiety, do leave them in a comment down below. 

Thank you so much for reading,

Much Love,

Hey everyone! Hope you've all been well. Today, I thought I will share with you my reflections and experiences from the month of March.

Discovering My New Favourite Drink



Does anyone remember the time when I was obsessed with virgin mojitos? Well guess what, I've found a new obsession since the first day of March: Ginger beer mixed with orange juice. Yup, that's my new favourite drink and it is perfect for hot sunny days.

Kiri Daney

One of the best moments of March was having a kiri daney at our house. While we had one at our old house, I was a little too young to recall the events of the almsgiving. So this was a new experience, and I appreciated the cultural elements of it. What I did not appreciate was waking up at 3 a.m., because nobody told me that the almsgiving takes place before dawn. We made traditional sweet treats like hendi kevum, mung kevum, and aggala, which was a treat in itself to watch. 

Submitting Masters Thesis

Another significant event of March was the submission of my masters thesis. It was an exhausting and lengthy, but rewarding procedure. Reflecting on this experience, I've learned a few important lessons.

I also wanted to thank all of you who supported me, especially by submitting your data. I really do appreciate it. 😊

Reflections



One thing I loved about the month of March was being productive. I was able to set and achieve the goals I set for the month. I was able to publish 13 blog posts in one month which exceeded my expectations. It all comes down to managing time better, and using my agenda appropriately among other things which I will share with you in the future. I was able to regain stability which I really appreciated, because 2017 was a little tough on me. So I'm actually very very pleased with the momentum I gained in March.

That's pretty much what happened in the month of March.

As a university student, I relied on multiple apps to get me through not just my studies but my personal life as well. While there are many apps out there, I thought I will list five that you must have as a university student.

Wunderlist

Evernote

Other than OneNote by Microsoft, the only note-taking app I used throughout university was Evernote. I found this so much more convenient to use on my phone. Dare I say, this is the best note-taking app I've come across. From taking brain dumps, to compiling my lecture notes, this was my go-to resource. If you're someone that recalls information through mental snapshots like me, this app is perfect as it allows you to incorporate images to your notes. You can find a detailed review of the app on pcmag. 

Anki

Flash cards make use of spaced repetition which enables the learners to test their memory within increasing gaps of time. While making flashcards can be fun and exciting, it is not practical to carry stacks of them in the handbag, and you definitely wouldn't have the space to use them in public transport. This is where Anki comes in. You can make umpteen number of flashcards, change layouts and arrange reviewing times to test yourself. The best part is that you can use it anywhere, anytime, and you can sync it to make them accessible on all of your devices.

Pacifica

This app doesn't even need an introduction on my blog, as I've already written about it. While I did not come across this during my undergrad years, this was critical for surviving my Masters. It is no wonder that university can add a lot of stress and anxiety to your life. From what seems like endless examinations, to having to manage anxiety during presentations, to managing social relationships, your resilience will constantly be put to test. This is why I recommend Pacifica. It has features for meditation and deep breathing to manage worry and anxiety, thought records based on Cognitive Behavioural Theory to identify unhelpful thoughts in order to set them right, and offers a supportive network of individuals going through more or less similar situations. 

Spendee

One of the most critical things about adult life or university life is managing your finances. You might be working while studying, and you need to ensure that your hard earned money will be spent on the right things. I know what you're thinking, look who's talking right? This app came to my rescue when I was spending every single cent on makeup and clothes. I'm not saying that I don't purchase any of this now, but I've learned to manage my finances so much better. It allowed me to see what I spent most on (oddly it was travelling), and allocate budgets.

If you're anyone like me, and like having inspiring quotes around your desk space, then this post is for you. 

The one thing you ought to know about me is that I have a penchant for books, and blog posts on personal development. If you follow me on Instagram (@sakuamanda), you would know that I went all out at the Big Bad Wolf book sale last year, and got myself plenty of self-help books. In reading them I noticed a common theme: gratitude.

Gratitude simply means being thankful, and acknowledging your blessings. It involves a mental shift from a focus on what is lacking or what is wrong with life, to what is going right and what is  available to you in abundance. The author of 'Positivity', Barbara L. Frederickson, maintains that the mere act of counting your blessings each day can increase positivity. It can transform what seems like mundane everyday aspects of life into events that make your heart skip a beat.

Furthermore she suggests that positivity, and in extension, gratitude opens our hearts. This creates an urge to give back, and engage in acts to 'pay it forward', thereby inspiring others and nourishing our social relationships. However a conscious mental shift to acknowledge the positive and find creative means of transforming the negative into positive is necessary.

I figured, if writing down a few things I'm grateful for in the morning would make me a more positive person, why not try it and see. After all, hypotheses testing is what we do. The results from that short amount of time were resounding and hence were worth writing about, in my opinion.

How I did it:

While there are ample journals available online, I found them to be somewhat overwhelming for a beginner. Hence I created a simple template for a journal entry for each day with just two slots to fill out (apart from the date and an inspiring quote). This way I also have no excuses for not completing the daily entries.

How it went:



The first day was admittedly tough. I had no idea what to write about, and hence wrote vague sentiments about feeling grateful for my family, and friends. In the next few days I learned to be more specific about what I was grateful for, like the support of my friends or the unconditional acceptance I receive from my parents. I noticed how I was more perceptive of the subtleties of every day things, especially the ones taken for granted. For example, I noted how much I appreciated my mom making me a cup of tea in the morning (she makes the best tea!).

In recapping my day, I found that despite a few negative incidents I had plenty of reasons to be happy. Something as simple as a compliment from someone, or an epic meme shared by a friend made it into the highlights of the day. I realised how easy it was to dwell on the negative aspects of life, maybe a put-down from a coworker, or experiencing difficult emotions like anxiety about an impending presentation. Being completely absorbed by the darkness of these events, it'd easy to forget to appreciate the more beautiful and positive moments of the day. This reminded me of my favourite quote by Dumbledore, that  'Happiness can be found even in the darkest times if one only remembers to turn on the light'.

Would I develop this as a habit?:
Absolutely! If anything, this little experiment served as a reminder for me to be more appreciative of what I have. As poetic as it sounds, I now find it relieving to take a few minutes to look at the pink-orange sky in the evening to be thankful for everything that I have.
I urge all of you to try this, even if it's just for a week, because you WILL see a change in your life. You can find a gratitude journal online, or simply download this worksheet and fill out the slots to compile your own gratitude journal.

 

I thought I will write a post that's more personal than the rest. As I look back on the month of February, I hope this will give you a glimpse of what I've been up to.

The Pox

Yes, you heard that right. At the age of 23, my body thought 'okay it's time to give in to the pox', and there I was a miserable wreck for an entire week. I didn't quite realise the magnitude of the illness, and especially the cultural beliefs associated with it. The first few days were particularly difficult because my body temperature soared and the aches began. Interestingly, I thought I would be scratching and itching more, you know like Phoebe from FRIENDS when she caught the pox, but I didn't experience it on the same level (thankful for this). The room service during that week was quite nice though, so no complaints there. 

Travel

Somehow I managed to travel to Kataragama for the Shiva Pooja. It's a religious festival where a lot of devotees come together in worshiping the deity, Shiva, by engaging in traditional rituals and reciting mantras at midnight.  We spent one night at Sun sung Chiththa Holiday Resort which was a quiet and decent stay. One of my favourite things about the journey back to Colombo, is seeing the beach at one spot between Dickwella and Matara where the water is the most perfect aqua blue I've ever seen. Now that I'm writing this post, I wish I knew the exact location. 

University and Blogging

Time Management is one of the most difficult tasks for a university student. Since I completed my internship towards the latter portion of January, I had more time to dedicate to blogging and hence was able to write, photograph, edit six posts for the month of  February. Besides that I've been spending time writing articles for YOUth (a feature of Sunday Island), and engaging in my research work and assignments. Can I just say, I was proud of myself for stretching my capacity to incorporate all of this into the shortest month of the year. 

Reflections

Anyway, that's it for this month!

I hope you enjoyed this post. If you'd like to see more posts like this or if you'd like to see any other types of posts, please let me know in a comment down below.

Thank you for reading!

Much love,

©      Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers

©      Jam to your favourite song in your room

©      Visit a museum or an art gallery

©      Write down 3 things you are grateful for in life

©      Break up with your phone for half an hour

©      Take a nap

©      Reconnect with an old friend

©      Take a bubble bath or a long shower

©      Bake some Funfetti cupcakes

©      Meditate for ten minutes (This app will guide you)

©      Immerse yourself in a book of your favourite genre

©      List three things you love about yourself

©      Get creative: buy yourself an adult colouring book or print out a few pages and start colouring

©      Let a friend know how much you care about them

©      Recreate a makeup look by your favourite beauty blogger

©      Get yourself loads of popcorn, order a pizza, and watch a Rom-Com (The Proposal is one of my favourites)

©      Have dinner with your family

©      Hang out with your pet

©      Go out for a walk in the park

©      De-clutter both your physical surrounding and your digital space

What are your favourite acts of self-care? Let me know in a comment down below.

Thank you for reading!

Much Love,